while you're ahead...

– 97 – two books

Monica Dunkley

July 6, 2017

Having survived my eldest going to Prom (awwwww… he looked so handsome…), and putting aside for the moment all packing decisions (the pre holiday laundry mountain needs to be tackled first) the only thing left for me to tell you about is a little something about the last two books I’ve read.

First up a random pick in Waterstones a few weeks ago. I like a good police/mystery novel and I wanted something different from everything I’d been reading, this looked like it might fit the bill.

I give it a 7 out of 10.

The story takes place in India, still under British Occupation… just… Ghandi is advocating his peaceful protest, the capital has been moved to Calcutta… the British Army feels unjustly treated by the local ‘they did so much for’… The way the place is described is brilliant. Recently I’ve been researching Mr M’s family who was part of this world and I loved reading about it. The physical world is really brought to life too, the stifling, humid heat, the monsoon rains, the busy street… that part was brilliant…

What wasn’t so brilliant to me was the story… a little thin. It lacked suspense… the thrill of eagerly turning the page without knowing what was going to happen.

Still, it was well written and if you’re interested in the British empire/India etc. it’s worth reading.

Birthday present from my mother, always worried I might forget the mother-tongue etc. etc. (She’s might be right actually, but don’t tell her, she loves it when she’s right).

This is the third instalment of the famous four books saga of the missing friend, the story of Lila and Elena.

What can I say?… I thought the first part of the book was VERY slow. I mean… VERY. A lot of self-analyses, a lot of introverted thinking on behalf of the protagonist and to be honest not enough was going on considering what was actually happening in her life… Almost too much for my liking.

I’ve been guilty of extreme navel gazing myself (what’s a blog after all…) but … geesh…

Having said that, the writing is really really good. Incisive and deep and fluid… it’s more the subject matter I had problems with.

So 6/10 for the first part and then moves up to a 8/10 for the last bit. At least the story moves on.

The final book in the series is sitting by my bed but it might need to stay there for a while longer. I need a break and it won’t be coming on holiday with me.

And now I need to get ready for the end of year Assembly and service… summer is officially beginning in a few hours!

SaveSave

– 96 –

Monica Dunkley

3 comments

July 4, 2017

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us… (C Dickens)

It’s a truth universally acknowledged that you simply can’t stop the passing of time and maybe it’s because another school year it’s coming to a close and big exams have been taken etc. etc… but it really feels like we’re entering a new phase in our family life. The boys are more and more independent and spend more time with their friends… they go out more… and I’ll tell you… I don’t like it.

Nope, I don’t like when I can’t see them. When I don’t know 100% they’re alive and well.

I’m happy for them, I trust them ,completely… but I don’t like it.

If it wasn’t for Mr M who’s much more laid back and rational I could easily turn into one of those crazy mothers who never let her kid out of her sight and rules their lives… shops for their clothes… chooses their wives… (let’s not go into that!!)

I remember the first time ever No 1 entertained himself giving Mr M and I an hour or more to read the Sunday papers or doing whatever we were doing at the time… (I probably just went to the toilette in private!). It’s imprinted in my mind like the first steps he took. He was the boy who wanted you with him at all times, to read to him, to build train tracks, to play with cars or lego… Then on that morning I left the room for something or other expecting me to follow me… and he didn’t. He carried on playing quietly and by himself.

It felt like a miracle… now… sigh… he’s old enough to join the Army for goodness’ sake. (The guy can’t manage to put the laundry in the laundry basked but he could be given live ammunitions? Bonkers)

Yesterday though, yesterday was a good day; No 1 and I went out and he got kitted out for his Prom tonight. (Nothing like leaving things at the last minute, right?)

Sigh.

Yup, prom.

Tux, shiny new shoes … the lot.

Girls? shut up!

Sigh.

And the sight of this confident, handsome young man filled my heart with pride.

And then I fed him. Because that is something that I can still do for him…

And we chatted, and he carried all the bags, and it was all good.

And maybe I can do this.

Maybe I can let him go… as long as he promises he’ll always come back.

(There’ll always be food)

(Pass the gin)

(I have two more that I can lock in the house and never let go… why did you think I made three?)

SaveSave

– 95 – poetry Monday

Monica Dunkley

1 comment

July 3, 2017

The light gatherer (by Carol Ann Duffy)

When you were small, your cupped palms
each held a candleworth under the skin, enough light to begin,
and as you grew,
light gathered in you, two clear raindrops
in your eyes,
warm pearls, shy,
in the lobes of your ears, even always
the light of a smile after your tears.
Your kissed feet glowed in my one hand,
or I’d enter a room to see the corner you played in
lit like a stage set,
the crown of your bowed head spotlit.
When language came, it glittered like a river,
silver, clever with fish,
and you slept
with the whole moon held in your arms for a night light
where I knelt watching.
Light gatherer. You fell from a star
into my lap, the soft lamp at the bedside
mirrored in you,
and now you shine like a snowgirl,
a buttercup under a chin, the wide blue yonder
you squeal at and fly in,
like a jewelled cave,
turquoise and diamond and gold, opening out
at the end of a tunnnel of years.

– 94 – white ball

Monica Dunkley

no comments

July 2, 2017

Last night Mr M and I were attended a fundraising ‘white ball’ organised by Dr Dawn Harper in aid of Action Medical Research.

We had a table full of friends and a fun night in aid of a really good cause.

The whole ‘white’ theme was interesting however… A whole room full of people dressed in white really worked. People wore evening dresses and beach dresses and white suits and the common colour unified it all. I like it. Although if you lost your friends it was much harder to find them!

But you know what?

All the women looked great… but men in white?

… not so much…

Fine on a cricket pitch. Fine in white scrubs… but really? no.

Also Mr M kept mistaking his white tie for his napkin… let’s leave it at that. (… he’s my fourth child)

I love white toenails though and might keep the look going for the summer..

Walking home in high heels however was not a good move. Rookie mistake… comfortable as these sandals were the blisters under the ball of my feet this morning confirm my opinion that high heels were invented by men and should have been listed in the Geneva convention under the torture instruments and banned.

Never mind sleep depravation or water boarding. Get prisoners to wear high heels for days on end. That’ll sort them.

And now, talking of white… I have another cricket match to attend to! Happy Sunday y’all!

SaveSave

– 93 – baseball and me

Monica Dunkley

1 comment

June 29, 2017

The first baseball game I’ve ever been to was in 1988… I was 18 years old, spending the summer at my AFS sister’s house in Wisconsin and the Milwaukee Brewers were part of my education. (I also attended Summer Fest where we twisted to a Chubby Checker concert, caught a 17lb salmon on lake Michigan, ate my weight in donuts, read my first book in English – Misery, by Stephen King -, learned to play ‘quarters’ and got grounded for staying up all night at a party around a bonfire with cute on their way to college boys. It was a great summer.)

I don’t remember much about the game if I have to be honest… it was hot and sunny and a great atmosphere… and the uniform were cute… but I wasn’t keen on the chewing/spitting thing…

I don’t think it counts as another game but a few weeks later we were part of a baseball crowd filming scene for the movie Major League… so much fun… and where my major crush on (a young) Tom Berenger started.

We’re somewhere in the middle there.

Ahhhh those were the days…

The second match was in Atlanta, Ga. in 2010… where I had the biggest hotdog known to men. Mr M and I were on a solo holiday through the back roads of Georgia in a Mustang convertible… and Savannah… so wonderful. (Can’t really fit three boys in the back seat of a Mustang… and they kind of cramp your style too)

The third match was once again with my American sister, this time in San Diego a year later… what a fabulous ground! And her husband was able to properly explain all the rules and various acronyms and the boys tried desperately to get on the big screen doing whatever they were asking the public to do.

So much fun.

Can you imagine trying to get on the big screen snogging your husband at a cricket match??? You hear ‘quiet please’ if you dare sneezing… and it only gets mildly exciting on the last 6 balls on the 5th day of the match.. just saying…

Aaaaanyway, I’ve just bought tickets to see the LA Dodgers at their very old stadium for two weeks time… (it’s the third oldest continuously used baseball ground in the States, I’ll have you know) and I can’t wait.

I can’t say I know the rules all that well… I’m ok with the basics… some dude chews some tobacco and pitches (which actually is like throwing but with a funny leg up kick type move) to another dude who’s also chewing and has to try to hit the ball with a bat. Good if he hits it and makes it fly. Bad if he swings in vain. Or strikes out. But you don’t want the ball to be caught or you do, depending which side you’re on and at the same time people ran around a diamond stepping on square pillows on the floor.*

That’ll get me through the night.

I’m all set. Just give me a hotdog, a mexican wave, and put me on the big screen smooching my husband.

Life goals.

PS any inside tips for impressing my boys with knowledge and trivia? Fire away.

PPS when you step back you come to realise that sports rules are actually really surreal… definitively invented by men who like to complicate very simple things like throwing and catching a ball, which is basically what a lot of sports are all about….

SaveSave

– 92 – Malvern Festival of Quilts

Monica Dunkley

1 comment

June 28, 2017

… It’s been so long since I visited that it’s almost embarrassing writing about it, but here we go.

First of all a confession: it wasn’t my favourite show.

All the quilts exposed had been skilfully done but not many grabbed my attention and made me run back home to the sewing machine with a head full of ideas… do you know what I mean? It’s a totally personal opinion and I don’t wish to offend anybody.

Like I said skills and ability yes. Aplenty.

My boat didn’t really rock though.

It kind of bobbled up and down a little.

A lot of traditional quilts.

The ubiquitous hexagons (I always admire then patience and perseverance)

(like the contemporary fabric choice)

A few abstract/art quilt

And my favourite section with the theme of the local Malvern Hills

Obviously this is just a tiny snapshot of the many quilts.

And don’t get me wrong I’m glad I went. It highlighted once again the kind of limbo I’m in. I don’t believe quilting should be only looking back at traditional patterns and colours and colour combination… let’s rock that boat!! Maybe that’s why I haven’t really quilted much… I feel… stuck and isolated…. uninspired…

Hopefully The Festival of Quilts in Birmingham, in August, will jolt me out of this rut.

– 91 – poetry Monday

Monica Dunkley

no comments

June 26, 2017

A life in Dreams (by Jacob Sam-La Rose)

There have been teeth
falling loose from their sockets
like a shower of petals or bones.

There has been treacle;
attempts to run against a gravity wound so tight
tight single steps were futile,
a travelling nowhere,
a running on the spot,
a fanged leer and a gnarled hand
inching ever closer.

There have been glorious revolutions in unnamed countries,
wars against tyrants,
troops like legions of swarming beetles.
There have been blades, flashing at the sun.

Once or twice, a fluency in kung-fu.

Up has mostly been up,
though has been convincingly turned
on its head.

There have been drives down unfamiliar streets,
the front of a car crumpled
like a denim pulled fresh from the wash.
Once, a mobile home.

There have been more than a few kisses. School
classrooms and corridors.
A hiding place in a primary attic.

There have been clothes, forgotten
and remembered too late.
A numbness of gums.

Weightlessness.
Unassisted flight.
Falling but never hitting the ground.
Fear
as solid and real
as table tops or bed-frames.

There has been silence,

the power of sound cleft from the mouth,
the jaw gummed with quiet, the throat
emptied of ammunition.

There has been love.

There have been messages
passed back and forth between hemispheres, metaphors
like acres of fortune cookies.

All this, behind shuttered and fluttering eyes
and, I’d wager, some of the best,
where everything moved like snowfall
and time itself was as delicate as a snowflake,
melting on the tongue.

– 90 –

Monica Dunkley

1 comment

June 25, 2017

Sunday morning.

Eerily quiet house and unusually empty day ahead of me.

I’m not complaining, mind you, but we’re usually so busy I keep checking my diary to see if I’ve forgotten something. It reminds me of when the boys were little (I had three in four years) and the rare times I went out without them… my eyes kept darting everywhere looking for them, like the feeling of phantom limbs.

Surely today I ought to be driving someone somewhere? Making pack lunches or be sitting on a sideline?

No 1 son is still in Italy at my parents’ enjoying the end of his GCSEs exams with a friend.

No 2 is still in bed and will be for a while.

No 3 is away on a school trip.

Mr M is in bed too.

I can’t quite believe that in two weeks we’ll leave another school year behind… and we’ll be having such a busy summer that it feels September is just there, behind the door, ready to pounce!

Slow down. Carpe Diem, Monica… take a chill pill.

One day at a time.

I gave blood for the first time this week. It didn’t really hurt… a part from the needle insertion part (which I think the nurse enjoyed a tad more than necessary) but I have to say it was quite a weird feeling seeing ‘my’ blood coming out of my body and filling a plastic bag (I had to touch the bag… warm)… It was a reminder of the fragility of life and at the same time what a miracle it is. I will donate again. It was a small thing compared to how much others do, but it did make me feel connected to humankind, it sounds ridiculous… but we do all have the same blood inside, why do we consider ourselves so different from one another?

Am I making any sense?

I highly recommend it.

I’ve also started to slightly stress about packing for the holidays. We’ll be facing such diverse weather and places that I don’t know where to start. I know San Francisco will be cool… so probably long trousers are in order… then we need hiking gear for Yosemite… then we’re in LA where it’s hot. Layers layers layers… but I also would like to wear pretty dresses not just shorts… and what about shoes?? Arrrghhhh. So much easier if you’re a teenager and you only own trainers!!

I always take way too much stuff with me but I’m trying to make a concerted effort to bring only things that go together so I can mix and match.

I’ve been really going through my wardrobe recently and ‘ebaying’ tons of stuff that was just sitting there waiting for that one day a year when it got worn…

No more.

I’m not quiet doing the Marie Kondo ruthless madness… too brutal for me, but I am being quite strong. So far I haven’t missed anything of the items I got rid of, which is good, in fact I find getting dressed in the morning much easier. Less is more and all that.

I’ve still got a waaaay to go before my wardrobe is nice and lean though… Small steps peeps, small steps.

Sunday morning rambling are over, you’ll be pleased to know. I need breakfast and if I don’t eat soon I’ll start being grumpy and moan about something or other.

Let’s keep it light,eh?

Have a good one.

– 89 – holiday planning

Monica Dunkley

4 comments

June 23, 2017

Everything was sorted. Flights, accommodations, car… maps and passports and visas… the dog/house sitter booked, regular deliveries cancelled… I was soooooo on top of it I was scaring myself. (a part from sun screen… still needed sun protection…)

AND THEN… we got hit by a ‘heat wave’.

If you don’t live in the UK you must understand that when the temperature passes 25C (77F) the whole country wilts. Like lettuce in the sun. Seriously. You get items in the news reminding you TO DRINK plenty of water and cover up and stay in the shade… So you can imagine what happened during 5 whole days of temperature around 30C (86F)!!

Mayhem.

My children were so grumpy you’d thought I’d made them eat kale for breakfast. They turned into sloths… wondering the house flopping from one chair to the next in a trance-like state.

So anyway to cut a long story short we got scared and so we abandoned the idea of our wonderful house (with pool) in Palm Springs (Mr M and mine favourite place!!!) due to the desert like temperature (mid 40sC/110F) and turned towards the coast for inspiration.

City of Angels here we go…

or should I say city of stars…?

(Do my boys know how annoying I’ll be with this soundtrack?…. oh boy, they’re in for a treat!)

So now I need your help … I want… I would like suggestions… not so much the big things but more like cool restaurants, THE best donuts joints… the quirky shops and interesting museum… the street arts, the places to avoid… for all the location will be visiting…

This is the master plan.

Starting in San Francisco where we are definitively visiting Alcatraz (have tickets already) and have booked a tour with these people in a cute little van… but a part from that we’re footloose and fancy free.

Next we’ll be heading inland for some spectacular scenery and hiking.

I’m quite keen on Sequoia National Park too… although No 3 – my little cynic – doesn’t believe there’s a tree higher than the Statue of Liberty… he thinks ‘they say that just to get you there’…

And then we’ll spend a week in and around LA… and I’ll wear a yellow dress and Mr M will wear a tie and we’ll be tap dancing in the street…

(Note to self … I need a yellow dress…)

And we’ll take the boys to the Planetarium…

And then my family will never speak to me again.

End of the holiday.

PS… I might need a green dress too.

PPS… Do you think Mr M will be convinced to wear a suit??

SaveSave

– 88 – twine tote

Monica Dunkley

3 comments

June 20, 2017

I’m sitting at my kitchen table drinking ice cold water and try to get moving… I’ve just walked in from town and I got so sweaty that I swear the self tan I applied this morning has melted off my legs which will result in very dark ankles and snow white knees.

Seriously.

No jokes aside I’m loving this weather. Yes it’s hot. Yes we’re all getting sticky. But it’s summer!!! finally we can wear shorts and dresses and little tops… and sandals!! Sandals without toes getting frostbites… I love sandals…

And flip flops.

Anyway whilst looking for some cotton lawn fabric I thought I had, I stumbled upon this crochet tote I remember starting in earnest last summer…

ahem…

As per usual (will I ever learn) it was almost finished, with only the handles to do. One day I’ll go to therapy to try to work out why I always leave projects when they’re almost finished. There must be some underlaying issues in my brain…

Anyway….

Hook size: 5mm

Twine: Nutscene in a variety of colours. I love their twine… the colours are so saturated and brilliant. (And they don’t bleed in your hand).

Pattern is my own, you can find it here, on Ravelry.

It’s a great size for the pool or a picnic… although now that I’ve said that the weather is sure to turn cold again.

I’ve made a few of these in the past and they’re ever so useful. Very strong too.

Lilli the dog is lying on the floor panting… every so often changing tiles looking for cool floor. I might join her.

SaveSave