while you're ahead…

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us… (C Dickens)

It’s a truth universally acknowledged that you simply can’t stop the passing of time and maybe it’s because another school year it’s coming to a close and big exams have been taken etc. etc…  but it really feels like we’re entering a new phase in our family life.  The boys are more and more independent and spend more time with their friends… they go out more… and I’ll tell you… I don’t like it.

Nope, I don’t like when I can’t see them.  When I don’t know 100% they’re alive and well.

I’m happy for them, I trust them ,completely… but I don’t like it.

If it wasn’t for Mr M who’s much more laid back and rational I could easily turn into one of those crazy mothers who never let her kid out of her sight and rules their lives… shops for their clothes… chooses their wives… (let’s not go into that!!)

I remember the first time ever No 1 entertained himself giving Mr M and I an hour or more to read the Sunday papers or doing whatever we were doing at the time… (I probably just went to the toilette in private!).  It’s imprinted in my mind like the first steps he took.  He was the boy who wanted you with him at all times, to read to him, to build train tracks, to play with cars or lego… Then on that morning I left the room for something or other expecting me to follow me… and he didn’t.  He carried on playing quietly and by himself.

It felt like a miracle… now… sigh… he’s old enough to join the Army for goodness’ sake.  (The guy can’t manage to put the laundry in the laundry basked but he could be given live ammunitions? Bonkers)

Yesterday though,  yesterday was a good day; No 1 and I went out and he got kitted out for his Prom tonight.  (Nothing like leaving things at the last minute, right?)

Sigh.

Yup, prom.

Tux, shiny new shoes … the lot.

Girls?  shut up!

Sigh.

And the sight of this confident, handsome young man filled my heart with pride.

And then I fed him.  Because that is something that I can still do for him…

And we chatted, and he carried all the bags, and it was all good.

And maybe I can do this.

Maybe I can let him go… as long as he promises he’ll always come back.

(There’ll always be food)

(Pass the gin)

(I have two more that I can lock in the house and never let go… why did you think I made three?)

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