while you're ahead...

– 2018/177 – small steps

Monica Dunkley

October 28, 2018

Sunday morning

Husband asleep. Dog asleep. Two teenagers asleep. One teenager currently getting ready to go to London with friends to watch a game of American Football: for some reason that I have yet to understand the Philadelphia Eagles are playing the Jacksonville Jaguars… in London. Slightly baffling… or maybe it’s just me.

I’m loving the quite of this half term break. I’m slowly getting to grip with the house and my main focus is to get rid of all the surplus stuff we have accumulated. I need to go through the boys’ clothes and all the cupboards and just … simplify! Don’t you feel the need to simplify? The nights are drawing in, it’s nice to sit by the fire with a book, Mr M and I hardly watch TV anymore…

I spent a few days sorting out my clothes and I have put quite a few things on eBay and the boot of my car is full of bags to be taken to a charity shop. It feels good.

One thing I’m doing just for fun (… don’t judge, to each its own) is to use this app called ‘Get rid of it’. How it works is really simple. One day one you get rid of one thing, on day two… two things… on day three, yes you got it, three things and so on.

It’s extremely satisfying, seeing all the stuff piling up and leaving the house. I need to also tackle the boys’ clothes and the boot room and the pantry. There are cupboards I haven’t opened since we moved here three years ago.

I got to the app via The Minimalists… they’re much more hardcore than I’d ever could be, but a lot of the things the say make you stop and think.

The apps gives you tips if you’re stuck and need prompting and a running total of the numbers of items you’ve free yourself from. It’s actually really terrible to think of how we’re surrounding ourselves of stuff we don’t need.

– 2018/176 – music Thursday

Monica Dunkley

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October 25, 2018

… gosh has it really been a week since my last post?

We’re back, I’m back, one boy is still away, two are here, we could almost resume normal proceedings… shall we?

I went to a music concert. A real, live, country music concert… and it was brilliant.

Kacey Musgrave. Do you know her?

She’s fab.

And we weren’t the oldest people there. Bonus.

and I bought a tour t-shirt.

I know, I know, I know…

Love hard

Live fast

Die fun

Which …. if you’d know what’s on my list of things to do today… is quite ironic and hilarious… I guess it’s the thought that counts!

– 2018/175 – postcards from the Seychelles

Monica Dunkley

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October 18, 2018

It’s a little early, Mr M is still asleep, I’m sitting on the deck overlooking the sea. It’s a little rough this morning and the sound of the wave crashing over the rocks below me is loud and demands attention. It reminds you the world is alive.

There’s a small green gecko sleeping on the mirror frame and did I tell you our bathroom has a swing?

Instead, let’s talk about Curieuse Island, Seychelles.

It’s all about the tortoises. Aldabra tortoises to be precise. Tortoises that were pretty much extinct and then reintroduced to the island where they now thrive. (The island was also a leper colony/hospital for many years, which is probably why the animals got left alone in the end. True story.

Somebody mentioned to us something about tortoises on the island and the overland trail from one bay to the other. We’d been on a boat for 24 hours and it seemed like a good idea to stretch our legs. It was hot. So so hot and humid.

… the walk takes you most of the way on a wooden pontoon path in between mangrove trees and gazillion crabs. Big crabs. Like… big mother crabs. And some small ones, but mainly big clawy crabs with beady eyes…

Just saying…

But the tortoises.. oh my. At first I thought they were statues of turtles… but when I realised they were real…

I’m in love.

They were just magical.

And so chilled.

and they let you stroke their leathery neck and the carapace feels like wood and the legs seem made of crocodile hide… And they have this ancient wise look in their eyes…

Just awesome.

It was quite moving to see them so close. I’ll never forget it.

No wonder Darwin and David Attenborough were so enthralled by them. They’re kind of magic.

– 2018/174 – postcards from the Seychelles

Monica Dunkley

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October 16, 2018

Evening time, Seychelles style…

– 2018/173 – postcards from the Seychelles

Monica Dunkley

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October 15, 2018

Another day… more of the same. I’m not complaining.

Exploring with Mr M.

I swear this has been put up purely to create a photo opportunity. It’s pretty but not very comfortable.

We went snorkelling. Bonkers. The reef/coral situation wasn’t good, apparently ‘El Nino’ destroyed most of it a few years back and yes, it’s regrowing but it’ll take a while (understatement of the day)… but the fish… oh the fish were amazing! Plentiful and colourful and big. No turtles yet though… they’re out there we’ve been told…

and just to prove to you it’s not all about having fun and doing nothing all day… here’s my set up for the afternoon when I managed to finish my first college essay due in next week. (if there was a ever a confirmation I’m a mature student it’s this… I’ve done it with a week to spare!!)

… and then I moved onto here…

and watched this…

and maybe had a glass of rose’ because… why not?

Yup, another hard day’s done. Well done me.

– 2018/172 – postcards from the Seychelles

Monica Dunkley

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October 13, 2018

Today in pictures:

There’s a strong possibility that tomorrow will be strikingly similar.

– 2018/171 – postcards from the Seychelles

Monica Dunkley

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October 12, 2018

First of all… where is the sun??

No seriously, where is it? I’m cool with the humidity and the warm temperature… but… ahem, the sun?

We arrived on the island of Mahe early morning and were a little disappointed to be welcomed by such grey skies, and then we got over ourselves and geesh… a little rain in paradise never hurt no one!

The transfer was by helicopter. Who doesn’t love a helicopter…?

They’re very cool and look impossibly complicated to manoeuvre. Our Swedish pilot, Richard looked about 14 but did a sterling job. And I felt very professional talking into the mike. And that photo is extremely deceptive… at that point I was emerging barely alive from the mother of all migraine that totally ruined the flight over and made the crazy dash across the whole of Dubai airport the worse run I’ve ever done in my life. You know when you’re feeling so ill you can’t even imagine being better ever again? And you start thinking that you’ll have a migraine for the rest of your life? Or that you have something worse, like a vein exploding in your brain and you’ll never see your children or your parents again..? Yes that.

Anyway the short flight gave us the chance not only to wear a headset but also to see a few of the islands from above and have an idea of the geography of the place. It’s so green! and jungly and rocky. And the sea is such an amazing colour.

We’re staying on the island of Felicity’, great name don’t you think? It is also jungly and green with lots of birds and chicken fluttering about the place, AND has the most amazing giant boulders dotted everywhere.

I love giant boulders.

You’ll see lots of pictures of boulders in the next few days.

These babies are on the beach just near our villa. They are home to lots of crabs, some of them worryingly large.

Mr M is trying to photograph said crabs but no luck yet.

I, on the other hand took to hunting shells. Safer I say.

And this giant tree full of hanging lights is by the restaurant.. isn’t it just wonderful?

I bet it looks fabulous at night…

Right now Mr M and I are chilling with the sound of the waves and catching up on ‘doing nothing’

It’s a hard life… blah blah blah…

SaveSave

– 2018/170 – 48 years of books (1992)

Monica Dunkley

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October 10, 2018

The daughters of the house (by Michele Roberts)

I had never heard of this book before starting college, it just so happened that it was on my reading list and had to be read for a seminar. Allow me a digression, my big module is ran in seminars, not lessons; we’re give a book/article/essay to read for the week after and then we examine it together with in class discussions and obviously directed by our professor that puts us right when we go wrong (… ‘professoress’ is there a word for female professor?). So different from the old fashion top-down lectures of years and years ago! (nothing wrong with those of course but I find this system so stimulating and interesting).

Anyway, back to the book, at the time of publication it was shortlisted for the Booker Prize… but I wasn’t in England yet so that’s why it never entered my radar. It’s a beautifully crafted book. I’m not going to give you an in depth analysis of the text because this is not what this blog is about, but suffice to say that it’s definitively worth reading.

Therese and Leonie are French and English cousins that meet up every summer in the French farmhouse. The story begins when the two girls, now women meet for the first time in 20 years… and then it goes back to explain what happened, what caused this long absence. Family dramas, death, a wonderful representation of society after the war in rural France, religion…

The chapter are short and cleverly titled with the name of an object (‘the green scarf’ ‘the dustpan’ etc.) that spark memories and episodes in the girls past and from these these snippets we piece together their love/hate relationship, the scandal hidden in their past, the horrors of the war, their life at the time and why things are as they are now.

If you like galloping plots.. this is not for you, but if you like a well written book with really acute and beautiful descriptions than go for it.

And now I really need to pack… (always tricky and bound to go wrong when you’re to in a packing frame of mind, right?

2018 Mr Hanckock and the mermaid

2017 – Magari domain resto (Lorenzo Maroni)

2016 – Upstream (Mary Oliver)

2015 – Reasons to stay alive (Matt Haig)

2014 – Annihilation (Jeff VanderMeer)

2013 – Careless people (Sarah Churchwell)

2012 – Wonder (RJ Palacia)

2011 – The Paris Wife (Paula McLain)

2010

2009 – Let the great world spin (Colum McCann)

2008 – The White Tiger (Aravind Adiga)

2007

2006 – The Road (Cormac McCarthy)

2005 – Never let me go (Kazuo Ishiguro)

2004 – American Gods (Nail Gainman)

2003

2002 – Everything is illuminated (Jonathan Safran Foer)

2001

2000 – Coram Boy (Jamila Gavin)

1999

1998

1997

1996 – Wilfred and Eileen (Jonathan Smith)

1995

1994

1993

1992 – The daughters of the house (Michele Roberts)

1991- Regeneration (Pat Barker)

1990 – Darkness visible (William Styron)

1989 – Like water to chocolate (Laura Esquivel)

1988

1987

1986

1985 – Oranges are not the only fruit (Jeanette Winterson)

1984 – Hotel du Lac (Anita Brookner)

1983 – Heartburn (Nora Ephron)

1982 – The colour purple (Alice Walker)

1981

1980 – Emmeline (Judith Rossiter)

1979– The bloody chamber (Angela Carter)

1978

1977

1976

1975 – First love, last rites – (Ian McEwan)

1974

1973 – the honorary consul (Graham Greene)

1972

1971 – Reunion (Fred Uhlman)

1970 – A slipping down life (Anne Tyler)

– 2019/169 – yup…

Monica Dunkley

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October 9, 2018

This is reality.

On the counter there is a squashed mountain (because it looks smaller, pathetic, I know) of ironing to do: 2 t-shirts, one sweatshirt, and 19 shirts and one nightdress. I counted them to maximise my sense of achievement when I’ll finally get to the end.

There’s a quarter of a birthday cake left that me and Lilli will try our hardest not to eat.

There’s a diary full things to do and places to be and a computer full of emails to write, and forms to fill in.

And my brain is full. Genuinely, completely, totally and utterly full. I just spent a long minute in the hall, staring at the carpet trying to remember where I was going and to do what. Nope, gone. I’m back in the kitchen writing this in the hope it’ll come back to me before I leave the house to get my hair done. Then today is my college day and while I’m really looking forward to it I’m a bit worried about the lack of space in my head. I expected college to be a struggle time-wise, to fit lessons and reading into an already busy life… but not a struggle about space in the brain. I’m filling the washing machine and Sartre pops in my head and another line for my essay pushes him out only to be replaced the hockey email I need to reply to and half way into trying to solve that issue Edward Thomas’ writing about science and nature takes hold and again that disappears because I remember we need cereals for breakfast and I haven’t defrosted dinner yet… and so it goes on all day.

I ran out of eggs.

And I’m frazzled.

Mr M and I are leaving in two days for a fantastic holiday so I don’t want you to think I’m complaining, it would be ridiculous, I’m just stunned by how out of shape my brain is. Is the brain a muscle? Can I train it back into fitness? It used to be quite a good little brain…

Do you ever feel like that?

Sigh…

– 2018/168 – what a week that was

Monica Dunkley

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October 8, 2018

It’s no surprise we had an alarm malfunction this morning and woke up an hour later, missing the school bus and forcing a drive to school that has put my daily plan over 1 1/2 back. Last week has been so ridiculously busy that to be honest two strong coffee cups later I’m still not fully functioning properly.

All good stuff, mostly, but geesh… my brain is fried. I put the Nutella in the fridge kind of level of ‘friedness’.

there was the classical concert in Birmingham, which was fab, but was a late night on a school night and I’m not good with those anymore.
I was in college for a full day. (when there was a bit of a debacle about my student card, nobody could find it till I realised they were looking for it in the ‘staff’ box, because let’s face it… I’ve got the age to be one… not too depressing)
the Cheltenham Festival of Literature started and with the boys went to listen to Romesh Ranganathan – the comedian – talk about his book. Very funny man. We all needed that.

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The Festival is one of the highlights of the Autumn for me and I’m always keen to drag the family along

On the Saturday we had the privilege to listen to the legend who is Sir David Attenborough… even No 1 ‘at the height of I’m 17 and nothing impresses me much’ was bowled over. He’s something else. Sir David I mean. No 1 is super special too but you know what I mean.

A special ‘hello’ goes to the lovely lady who came to say hello when I was trying, without success, not to buy any books. It was lovely! thank you for doing so.
Then on Saturday night No 2 had a party, a 16th birthday party… need I say more? I’m surprise the house withstood the vibration from the music, that nobody fell into the pond or was sick on the sofa, that the floor in the basement is lino, that I didn’t have to call any parents to pick up their child. Joking aside, it was all fine, a little bit stressful, Mr M had to play bouncer and stop some gatecrasher from trying to get in, but No 2 has some gorgeous friends who came in on the Sunday morning and helped him clear everything up. I’m very grateful for that.

he is quite seriously awesome.
Sunday morning I was back to the Festival, I attended a talk by Emma Healey (who wrote Alice is missing) and Kit de Waal (my name is Leon). They were discussing their second novels and what an amazing pair of women they were. Kit De Waal wrote her first novel in her late forties. Inspirational. There is hope for us all.
Then on Sunday there was the hockey tournament for No 3
And then I was invited by a neighbour to the Festival again in the evening, this time for this chap:

Mr Gary Barlow. I was never a Take That fan back in the days, I liked them better in their second go and I had to say he appears to be a very nice guy. (Incidentally, I love Emma Freud.

And all this was EXTRA to the normal running of the household, which still went on, the shopping and the washing and the driving around and and and….and then we’re back at this morning when the alarm mysteriously didn’t go off and it was all a bonkers rush.

Sigh.

Bear with me this week. It might be a long one…