Day 108 since the lockdown.

As a sentence it sounds a little like the beginning of your stereotypical post apocalypse novel, and I haven’t decided if its veracity is chilling or merely something to shrug off. There’s a lot of talk about the ‘new normal’, of how the ‘old normal’ wasn’t functioning… well let me tell you… I hate that word: normal. What does that even mean? Is it the the voice of the majority? It doesn’t make it right…. Is it what’s comfortable or ‘working’?… that doesn’t mean it’s ok for everyone and should be maintained… I don’t know. It’s too too much for my head.

How are you all? How have you been?

Me? mmhm, a lot of good days, some very bad days and every shade in between. On the bad days I’m thinking… what if this is ‘it’? The beginning of the end, a slow unravelling of the world as we know it, not an end in fire or ice… but a an unstoppable trickle, a tiny leak in the universe that we have built for centuries… ok it’s not that we had created something flawless, but it had its good points you’ll have to agree. On the good days I looked around at my family and felt grateful and full of love. Other times, I put the head down and waited for a new morning.

There were days spent on online lessons, and college assignments were handed in, though I missed sitting in the soft quietness of the library. Lots of books were read chosen from ‘the pile’ or ordered online, though I missed the hushed atmosphere of a bookshop and real letters were written on real paper with real pens, though I missed to see friends face to face.

We cancelled holidays, and that hurts, it still does. I’m so lucky to live where I live, and yes, I am lucky I had holiday to cancel I guess, but the horizon around me has gone smaller and I find it difficult to accept it.

I discovered walking and I truly believe that kept me sane.

I baked sourdough. Twice. Just to say I’ve done it.

We had family movie nights when we took turn to choose … I’m proud to say I survived ‘The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’ AND ‘Fast and Furious, Tokyo Drift’… my revenge to the boys was ‘The Two Popes’. They’re not the only ones who can play that game!

I’m also not going into long explanations of why it didn’t feel right to be here… it just didn’t, and maybe the end is near for this little blog of mine after 14 years, or maybe not.

Oh… and we have a puppy. And he’s the best. And you’ll see a lot more of him!

6 thoughts on “^^44/2020^^ still here…

  1. Jacqueline says:

    I have missed your posts, hope you are going to come back. Your puppy is gorgeous! I’m not keen on this ‘new normal’ and hope that this is not IT. Hopefully there will be another side, where things can can be near where they were.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Clicky Needles says:

    Oh my goodness, that little face is melting me. I’m not liking the new normal either, driving to the supermarket a few weeks ago reminded me that our county is so beautiful but I felt sad that I hadn’t been seeing it more. Some days are great, some days are meh. Hang on in there. Clicky Needles x

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Clicky Needles says:

    Adding to the above, I have 1 son who has been without cricket and driving me bananas, I can’t imagine what it must be like with 3. X

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Holly Gault says:

    Here in the US we aren’t close to a new normal. I am lucky enough to live in a county of Washington state where there have been only 39 cases and no deaths, but that is largely because our county is mostly retired and took the precautions seriously.

    Your new pup will be fun for company on your walks. My cats refuse to cooperate.


  5. Jo says:

    I like the phrase, that your horizons have shrunk, i don’t mean that the shrinking is good, just it says a lot to me about how I feel. However, puppy is lush, and there is so much to see around here.


  6. Laura says:

    Thank goodness for a sweet puppy; distracting, demanding and adorable. Our old boy was thrilled to have someone home with him all the time.
    The life changes that were brought about so abruptly did require some energy to adjust to, but to a certain extent we all found distractions and made our way as best as possible, taking advantage of what we could do, and trying to ignore what we could not. There were lots of moments where I would have given an awful lot to get out of the crazy that was, but you take the good with the bad, and keep going; because this just is, and there is nothing anyone can do about it.
    Resilience is key, just keep your head up and keep going. I am glad you are back.

    Liked by 1 person

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