Is it me or it’s absolutely freezing out there?
Today is one of those days I wished I had a rewind button, to start over, to shout a little less (although if you could see No 3’s bedroom you would actually give me a medal for my restrain… but still) and smile a little more… but you know we’re entering a new phase around here and I’m not really used to it. I’m not used to be given a silent treatment by a 16yr old who thinks my only aim in life is to make his a misery devoid of fun and joy. Or having my first born so grown up and independent he seems always away from home. Or hearing my baby’s voice so deep he could compete with Barry White… I’m so in denial about him growing up too I kept thinking he had a sore throat… nope you dummy woman, he’s growing up too.
Today I’m going to wrap their advent calendar although between you and me… I’m not sure they earned it this year! Have you ever read that book by Anne Tyler, The ladder of years, in which the protagonist is a middle age housewife who feel she’s been taken for granted by husband and children and one day she goes for a walk on the beach and she keeps walking… and starts a new totally pared down life in the next town, finds a room to rent and a job in a library and spends her night reading books… quietly… no responsibility for anyone else… and kind of life goes on without her at home and when she does return everybody slips into the old ways, nothing learnt so she disappears again…
Yeah, that feeling.
Sigh.
The grass on the park opposite our house is all frosted over. Lilli took a sniff and the crisp air and walked straight back into the house. She’s now asleep on the sheepskin on the sofa. Weird dog.
I got my first essay back from my tutor and I was so happy with the result I cried. Mercifully I was sitting at the kitchen table at the time.
I discovered Miles Davis ‘kind of blue’ album. Can’t stop playing it. I find that these days I need to have music that has no words. I do so much reading for college, so much talking (to myself it seems) with the boys… that I need words-free moments.
I’ve attempted to make chilli sauce as a homemade present this Christmas… I followed the recipe from The Garterstich Farm online Christmas Course here. It seemed easy enough… (the funniest this was being the face of the cashier at the supermarket when I bought 2lb of chillis. He was soooo dying to ask me what on earth I was planning… but being very English, he didn’t feel he could. Hilarious.
Tomorrow is the day of reckoning when my supposedly fermenting chillies will be turned into sauce. I’ll let you know…
while you're ahead... 
If your recipe doesn’t work for you then try making Mazavaroo. Most of the recipes seem to reference Mauritius but you may have had it when you were in Seychelles. I’ve never made it myself as I have a Seychellois friend up the road who makes it and gives it to me along with the various other chutneys he makes. I must ask him for more supplies for Christmas as apparently we are doing Red Snapper instead of turkey this year and we’re not sorry!
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I read Ladder of Years awhile ago, 2001 in fact, so my memory may be fuzzy. My take was that the mother had to try “life” on her own since her babies were leaving the nest, and she never did (married at 18 to her father’s business partner, stayed in her home…). She needed to do this to reconcile her need to know if her children were going to be okay without her and she’d be okay without them at home. And she also realized that the life she left was the one she wanted, and that’s why she went back. I wish I could discuss this one with a book club! Everyone brings a different view, and I love the discourse. Thanks for the memory trip! I hope your chili sauce turned out well. It’s so colorful – almost a holiday decoration in itself.
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I am with you on the point about children. In our house I would like to go more than a few days without there being an issue about homework, missed books, being late…….it’s all getting very tiring ad rpepative. I am starting to think of doing a walk along the beach mepyself! How your day improves and the chilli sauce works.
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