while you're ahead…

• I have absolutely no idea what to have for breakfast.  I’m hungry but nothing feels right.

 

• Child No 1 is concussed.  No it wasn’t me when I saw the state of his room… he had a particular nasty collision with another player last Wednesday which left him with headaches and slightly dodgy memories.  It took me three days to take him to A&E… that makes me a bad mother.  My guilt game is high right now.  (They didn’t scan him but he’s banned from any sports for three weeks).

 

• sigh

 

• This morning’s drama was about the missing white shorts.  No 3 swore they disappeared/he’d put them in the wash/I must have given them to his brothers… in the end they were found inside his tracksuit bottom.  Inside.   Apparently it wasn’t him that did it.   Yes, because of course I always hide white shorts inside dark navy tracksuits before washing them because I love to make life difficult for myself… yup, call me the joker…

 

• sigh

 

• I received the most bizarre email yesterday from Clintons (a British greetings cards company) highlighting some of the occasions ‘worth’ (note the inverted commas) celebrating this month:

Adopt A Rescued Guinea Pig Month  (no thanks)
Employee Spirit Month (I have no staff.  I am ‘the staff’)
Expanding Girls’ Horizons in Science & Engineering Month (I have only boys… I can rest)
International Expect Success Month (I don’t even know what to say here)
International Ideas Month (how ‘do nothing’ month?)
International Listening Awareness Month  (tell that to my children Mr Clintons!)
International Mirth Month  (WHAT??)
Mad for Plaid Month (mother will be happy)
National Craft Month (I can live with this)
National Eye Donor Month (ahem…)
National Frozen Food Month (eat what’s in the freezer? stock the freezer?)
National Kidney Month (eat or donate?)
National Kite Month (never managed to fly a kite, ever)
National Umbrella Month (… as in try not to lose one?)
National Women’s History Month (mmh, ok, what do I do?)
Optimism Month (ha ha ha)
Play The Recorder Month (NO WAY, evil instrument, should have been banned by the Geneva Convention on human rights)
Quinoa Month  (seriously?)
Sing With Your Child Month (they obviously have never heard my children sing)
Youth Art Month (that’s cute… I’ll tell no 2, and he’ll give me the ‘you’re so lame’ look)

And what about the celebration ‘days’…

Day of The Dude: 6
National Cereal Day: 7
National Proofreading Day: 8
International Bagpipe Day: 10
Land Line Telephone Day: 10  this is ridiculous
World Sleep Day: 10  yup, I like it
World Plumbing Day: 11
Fill Our Staplers Day: 13
International Ask A Question Day: 14
Pi Day: 14
Lips Appreciation Day: 16  who makes these things up!!
No Selfies Day: 16
International Sports Car Racing Day: 18
Worldwide Quilting Day: 18  YEAH!
Play The Recorder Day: 18 NO NO NONO
Alien Abduction Day: 20 (Started in 2008 at Toronto Alien Festival)
Bed-in For Peace Day: 20
International Day of Happiness: 20
World Storytelling Day: 20
Twitter Day: 21
World Water Day: 22
World Meteorological Day: 23
Red Nose Day: 24
Pencil Day: 30
International Hug A Mediaevalist Day: 31  scraping the barrel here…

AND don’t forget Mothering Sunday here in the UK on Sunday 26th .   (Which I’ll be spending on a hockey pitch as usual…)

• sigh