Phew, that was some weekend… there are certain moments in your life that make you shift your understanding, your direction, your point of view. And I’m not talking about the really ‘big’ ones, your marriage, the birth of your child… but the quiet moment that sneak up on you when you don’t expect it, the ones that you don’t recognise till after they’ve passed. This weekend for me was one of them. I won’t get into details because I value the privacy of my children too much and, in the grand scheme of things, it was not a big deal… but to me it was.
I feel that as much as ‘he’ has grown up a little (I hope so) so have I, that as he has learnt a lesson (I REALLY hope so), so have I.
I was reminded that my most important and hardest job as a mother is not to love them regardless of all the stupid choices they make (loving them is the easy bit) but to let them make the stupid choices and be there to help them pick up the pieces. To let them go down their own path even when as an adult I can see the obstacles up ahead. And it’s difficult, and nobody teaches you how to do it, you both stumble in the dark.
THAT is the hardest task of all.
The Real Work (Wendell Berry)
It may be that when we no longer know what to do
we have come our real work,
and that when we no longer know which way to go
we have come to our real journey.
The mind that is not baffled is not employed.
The impeded stream is the one that sings.
6 thoughts on “– 2018/154 – poetry Monday”
So hard. Not every parent is honest about this stage in raising children. My son is 19 and the last two years have been a big challenge and I have not always played it well. And we are not out of the woods yet….. onwards….
thank you Anne, it IS hard! it’s hard to keep your head, it’s hard not to take over
or decide WHEN to intervene… and mine are a really lovely boys 95% of the time anyway!! Good luck.
With one of mine just about to leave for uni and another well into teenage hormones I have decided that I don’t want children anymore, they just break your hearts!
… I love having them… I even would go as far as saying that most of the time I love teenagers too, what I don’t like is seeing them hurt just because they don’t bloody listen!
It’s heartbreaking when you protect them for so long, give them all the advice (& possibly more) that they could ever need & then the moment they step out from under your wings, BAM! Have been there & it still haunts me a little making it harder for me to stand back & bite my tongue. I try to restrict myself to reminding my boys to ‘make GOOD choices’
Timely for me with my girls right now. Thank you for the excellent poem! Good luck with your boys.And here’s to us!